Now,
we’ll talk about how to recognize
physical and emotional challenges that you face in your life, and how to
understand the
condition of your body at the time of the dream.
As
you begin working on your dreams, always bear in mind that nothing in the dream
is accidental and everything and everyone is first and foremost a quality of
you. After you answered the first
three questions (see the previous section) you may have a good idea of the
message of the dream. The dream may reflect the changes occurring in your
inner and/or outer life, or it may reveal conflicts that you are facing.
In the first case, recognize the changes and see if they correspond with what
you want in your life. In the second case, the conflicts must not only be
understood but also “corrected” by going back into the dream, and then
anchored with specific actions in
the waking reality (read about making corrections in the next section.)
As
you look for analogies between the events
of the dream and your waking life, remember that the dream usually reflects
something that happened in your waking life within 1 to 72 hours around the time
of the dream. The theme of the dream may also be reflective of the
totality of your life.
Pay
particular attention to red flags, which
usually come with a purpose of attracting your attention to the most important
aspect of the dream. A red flag means that something in the dream is out
of place. For example, you
are your age, an adult, and you find yourself in your elementary school.
You feel embarrassed because you are a
grown person and have to study with children. This dream may be
calling your attention to discomfort about having to learn something that you feel
you should already know.
Another
example: you receive your monthly electric
bill that is usually under a hundred dollars and it is $1100.
You are shocked
and outraged. This dream may be showing that you are overspending your
energy without realizing the price that you must pay and also the conflicting
feelings you may have about working so hard
(for the meaning of numbers see below.)
What
if
you find yourself in a dream speaking on
the phone with a friend (who you know to be a very rational person),
but you just
can not hear him? The dream may be informing you that you've started
having a hearing problem, but do not yet have conscious awareness of it.
It may also be telling you that you are not capable of hearing the rational
quality of yourself. As you look at what is happening in your waking life
around the time of the dream, you may easily figure out whether the first,
second, or both interpretations are applicable.
B.,
a 28 year-old, newly married patient of mine, had a dream in which a rodent made a house in her basement and started killing little kittens
that lived there. Responding
to a question “What is the first thought that comes to you when you think
about kittens?” B. shared with her fantasy-image of her two children
playing in the garden with little kittens. After considering a possible
message of the dream, B. decided to see her physician.
She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
Often in a dream we encounter quantities and numbers. They are of great
significance.
A patient, C. after proposing
to his girlfriend had a dream in which he was picking seven roses for his fiancée
and two men in a store were giving him advice. Understanding the numbers
(2 men, 7 roses) helped C. to realize and address the ambivalence he felt about
marriage.
Numbers:
1 -
unity, oneness
2 -
conflict, divided mind
3 - synthesis after having been divided
4 - construction, home, marriage
5 - creativity, love, sexuality
6 - reunion, health, construction at higher level
7 - ambivalence, possibility of growth
and contraction or distraction
8 - something from past that hasn't being resolved
9 - completion, it's 3 on higher level
10 - perfection in everyday life
11 - conflict
12 - wisdom
13 - coming to oneness after being separated
14 - connectedness with others
15 - fulfilling all the possibilities
16 - death, rebirth
17 - difficulties finding a way
18 - life
19 - grace
20 - trouble in marriage or relationship
Larger
numbers are simply to be reduced to one digital number by addition.
In
this section I will focus on the meaning
of colors, how the dream reveals one’s belief system, and how to make
“corrections” in the dream if change is necessary.
Akin to images, numbers and quantities, colors are an innate language of
all human beings. Colors appearing in dreams may be reflective of one’s
physical and emotional functioning.
When there is “too much” of one particular color, it might be an
indication of an imbalance in a particular physiological system. For example, a
person dreaming of a bright red sky may be receiving a message that there is a
problem with his/her cardiovascular system. And yet, it may also be a sign
of him/her being very angry. Only the dreamer can intuit which interpretation is
right. It depends upon the context of the dreamer’s life.
Here are the colors associated with
bodily functions and emotions:
red
cardiovascular system,
sexual energy, fury
yellow
urinary system, energy, fear
blue
thyroid, spiritual energy, detachment
orange
liver, female strength
green
gallbladder, growth, envy
gray
brain, guilt
violet
emotional life
white
lymphatic system, purity
dark
black
death
shiny
black
rebirth, life
A
patient, A., dreamt of visiting his
mother’s grave. Everything
in the dream was just like in his waking life except that he was dressed in all
gray, a color that he never wore. His work on this dream helped him to
identify and address tremendous guilt about his relationship with his mother,
which he had carried for years.
Dreams
often reveal unconscious beliefs that govern one’s life. A patient, D.
who was a chronic procrastinator, described a dream in which he found his friend, a talented inventor, crying out:
“It just
doesn’t work, I am a looser, I tried it eight times.” (Remember the
meaning of 8—an unresolved issue ). D. recognized that the friend in the
dream represented his unconscious belief: “No matter how hard I work, I will
fail.” D. finally understood that
his procrastination was only a symptom of his fear of failure.
L.,
a 28-year old woman who sabotaged
any relationship with potential for marriage and/or children, reported a dream
in which she was a young musketeer walking
proudly on the streets of Paris.
On one of the corners she encountered a
prostitute who was pleading for money in order to feed her children.
The young
musketeer dropped a few coins in the woman’s hand and walked away in disgust.
L. recognized the young musketeer as the independent, proud, adventurous, and
generous quality of herself. She identified the poor prostitute as being a
reflection of her belief: “Once you are a mother, you are no longer free.
You
do anything for your children at any costs to yourself.”
This realization helped L. to understand the reasons for her behavior in
relationships.
So
far, I have discussed understanding the dream as it relates to your
waking life. But understanding the dream is only the first step.
The next
step is making change.
If the dream clearly indicates
that there is a physical problem, the best is to have a physical check up.
If
the dream shows emotional conflict, the conflict needs to be addressed.
Our night dreams are reflective of waking life. As waking life
changes, so do the dreams. By “correcting” a problem in the dream we can stimulate the
change in our waking life. To make a correction in the dream you do not
need to go back to sleep. The “correction” can be successfully made as an
imagery exercise.
To
make a correction, sit quietly in an upright position, close your eyes, and
manually state your intention for the exercise. For example, if in the dream you
were captured by enemies, you state: “I am doing this exercise with the
intention to find freedom.” Then, go back into the dream to the moment
of greatest distress and use your will to make a resolution to your liking.
In the example above you can kill your captors, you can bring police and put
them in jail, or you can make piece with them. Never preplan how you will
act before the beginning of the exercise. Do what feels right in the moment.
Remember, in the world of imagination everything is possible.
The following is a complete case illustration of working the dream.
Case
Illustration:
A., a 36-year
old clinical psychologist who had been studying imagery and dream work with me,
reported a dream and a subsequent correction of the dream that he did.
In the dream A. found himself working in a laboratory on a project of creating some
sort of special food to end the word’s hunger. He knew that the pressure was
on to quickly finish the work. The experiments were done on human subjects, and
more and more subjects were required. Suddenly A. found himself strapped in a
chair with electrodes attached to his head. His head hurt. A. started pleading
with the chief researcher explaining how immoral their actions were. At first
the chief did not want to listen, but then A.’s uncle appeared, a few
researchers sided with A. and his uncle and the debate started. Debating was
permitted in the laboratory. The two “camps” were equal in the art of
debating. No solution was in sight and A. woke up.
In his waking
life three months before the reported dream, A. got engaged to a woman he had
dated for two years and with whom he was “very much in love.” Shortly after
the engagement, A. started having light but frequent headaches. A. said that
though consciously very happy, he could be unconsciously fearful about marriage,
which was “a headache to consider”. A. was instructed to write down a
question every night before going to sleep: “What do these headaches tell me
about me?”
A few nights
later, A. had the night dream presented above. Upon awakening A. started
“working the dream.” He asked himself the first question:
“How do I
feel after awakening?” The answer was: “Concerned, unsettled. The debate was
not resolved.” The second question was: ”What is the theme of the
experience?” He answered to himself: “It was about food, and the means
of providing food to the world I dwell in.” The third question A. asked
himself was: “What is the setting?” The answer was: “Laboratory. A place
for learning, for experimentation. Experimentation with human subjects who are
in demand.” The fourth
question was: “Is there a connection between what I just experienced in the dream
and my waking life?” At that point A. had an intuition about the connection
between providing food, the pressure that everyone in the laboratory was under,
the need for more subjects, and his waking life.
A. realized that
though happy about his upcoming marriage he was “secretly” worrying about
how he would provide for the couple, since his fiancé was a student and did not have an income.
He was thinking about the ways to expand his practice, was more reluctant
to see patients with low income at a reduced fee, and generally was more
concerned about how much he earned and getting more “subjects” rather than
how much he was helping his patients.
The “two
camps” (2—conflict), A. realized, were: the chief’s camp-- a quality of
himself that is demanding, unscrupulous, and hungry for success; the uncle’s
camp--(A. said that for him his uncle was always a symbol of uncompromising
dignity and honor) a quality of himself which has faith and always knows what is
right. A. recognized that he was
making an error of predicting the future that “it won’t be enough”, and
another error of responding to the “Pavlov’s bell” of social conditioning
that he must provide for his wife.
A.
realized that he was facing two conflicting and equally strong pulls; one toward
living in the moment, having faith, and being true to his love and the other
toward fear of “what if,” and the desire to protect himself from possible
danger/hunger at all costs.
After his
insights, A. decided to make a correction. He sat in an upright position, closed
his eyes, breathed out three times, and mentally stated the intention of
doing the exercise: “I am doing this exercise with the intention to be true to
my love, and to live in the present.” A. entered his dream at the point where
correction was needed. A. found himself strapped in a chair while the
“camps” were debating. Using his will,
A.
freed himself from the straps by kicking those who attempted to stop him. More
people joined him and his uncle in subduing and arresting the chief and a few of
his loyalists. Then the laboratory was blown up and the researchers decided to
teach people of the Earth how to provide for themselves. Then A. exhaled once
slowly and walking out of the mirror opened his eyes. The whole exercise lasted
no longer than 30 seconds.
As a result of
working with the dream and making a correction A., “knew in his heart” that
he did not doubt his desire to marry the woman he loved, but that he was challenged by fear.
He made a
decision to “witness” his thoughts and to use his will
to dismiss any concerns about the future as lies. A. also decided to discuss
his financial concerns with his fiancé. Within a week, the frequency of A.’s
headaches diminished and disappeared.
The wicked queen
looks into the mirror every morning and asks the same question: “Mirror,
mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” Like the queen we all
have an opportunity to look into the mirror of ourselves--our dreams. And once
we do, then we are free to choose how to act upon what we see.
“Is that so, I have been asked?” “Are the dreams really that
important? “
Well, unlike
logic, philosophy, psychology, and other sciences based on the workings of the
intellect and are man-made, the ability to dream is an inborn apparatus, just
like respiration, digestion, and illumination. Since every inborn function has
proven to be essential to our very survival (people can live without philosophy
or psychology but they can not live without breathing), it is only logical to
conclude that dreaming also has its purpose for our survival as a species.
While the inborn physiological functions assure our physical survival,
the inborn mental functions such as will, imagination, and dreaming help us to
survive emotionally and socially.
Kilton Stewart
characterizes the Sinoi People of Malaysia, who view dreams as guidance from the
inner realm to the waking life, as a society with “absence of violent crime,
armed conflict, and mental and physical disease.” For Sinoi the characters and
forces in a dream are real. First and foremost they are reflective of different
qualities of one’s own Self. When the images in the dream are threatening, the
dreamer must fight with them. If the dreamer succeeds in winning the dream
battle, the spirit of the adversary becomes a servant or an ally.
In Talmudic literature people are also advised “If one had a dream that
caused him anguish, one must go back, and turn it to good.” Similar
understanding of dreams can be found in virtually every culture, though not all
have kept up with the tradition of “attending” the dream.
Sometimes the issue or issues in our inner life are so important that our
unconscious sends messages over and over again. This is when we have repetitive
dreams. The messages are often an invitation to deal with an issue. For example,
if you find yourself getting lost in many dreams, you may be consciously unaware
of the need to make a decision or “to find your way”. If you dream of doing
something tedious, you may likewise be unaware that it’s time to move on.
If you dream that you speak on the phone but can not hear the person with
whom you speak, the message may be that you are not listening or can not hear
what the world is telling you. And
yet, it also may be a message that you are developing a problem with your
hearing. When the dream involves any problem with bodily functions simply
notice how you feel. Trust your intuition. Remember that a repetitive dream is
only a call for attention.
A nightmare is another call for attention, but with greater urgency.
Something frightening is happening in your inner life whether or not you are
consciously aware of it. There is a conflict that must be addressed.
The
questions to ask upon awakening are: “What qualities of myself do I see?”,
“How do they relate with each other?”, “If
this dream was a story, what title would I give it?”
If you can answer
these questions you may get insight into the issues you are facing in your inner
life at the time of the dream. But even if you do not understand the full
meaning of the dream it is still beneficial to make a “correction” of a
disturbing dream.
Remember,
a night dream is not only a reflection of what has been happening in your life
till the moment of dreaming, but also a blueprint of what is to unfold in your
life in the days to come. Do you like what you see? If you do not,
make a correction!!! You have an opportunity to chart your life from within your
inner world. Understanding of a dream is only half of work. The other half
is making a correction if needed.
To make a correction, sit quietly in
an upright position, close your eyes, and mentally state your intention for the
exercise. For example, if in the dream you were lost in a dark tunnel, you
state: “I am doing this exercise with the intention to find the way to the
light.” Then, see numbers 5,4,3,2,1,0, see 0 elongating and becoming a tall
mirror. Step into the mirror and into the dream at the moment of greatest
distress and use your will to make a resolution to your liking. After completion
of the correction, go out of the mirror, look back and see in the mirror the
last scene of your triumph, and open your eyes. In the example above, you can
make a torch, break the walls of the tunnel, bring a helper--someone you
trust--to guide out of the maze. Never preplan how you will act before the
beginning of the exercise. Do what feels right in the moment. Remember, in the
world of imagination everything is possible. By finding a solution to a conflict
in your dream you chart the course to problem solving in your waking life.
The focus of this section, the last in this series on dreams, is on children’s
dreams. Researchers find that children begin to dream as early as at the age
of three. These dreams are generally very short, and other characters carry out
most of the dream activity while the dreamer remains a passive observer.
There is an opinion that before the age of six a child’s inner world is
intricately connected with the emotional world of his/her mother. The child’s
often interrupted sleep and frightening dreams may be reflective of mother’s
emotional distress.
At the age of
five and six, dreams double in length and there is an increase in physical and
interpersonal activities within the dreams, though the dreamer most of the time
remains passive. Around this age children begin to report dreams with animals,
monsters, and frightening figures which threaten their life and or lives of
their relatives.
Just like
adults’, children’s dreams, are “mirrors of the soul” that reflect
child’s emotional development. They are also a stage upon which different
qualities of the dreamer are displayed. And finally, they are an opportunity for
parents to look into the drama of their child’s inner development and to be a
gentle teachers and guides.
We are born with
some character qualities and some we develop through our interaction with our
environment. Regardless of whether one believes in genetic predisposition or
experience that comes with us from our past lives, the fact remains that
children are different from the very first days of their lives. All these
qualities, impulses, and beliefs unfold in the child’s inner life--night
dreams. Contrary to the common perception of dreams as always being reflective
of one’s waking life, the waking life, in truth, is often a reflection of
inner life of which night dreams are a part. That is, first we may have an
opportunity to observe our potentials in a night dream, and then they are
“lived out” in our waking life.
So, when
children encounter a monster in a dream, it is their own fears or impulses they
are facing. If a disturbing dream
wakes them up parents should not dismiss the experience as “Oh, it’s not
real, it’s only a dream." The
best way to transform the frightening images and fears of the dream into life
enhancing forces is to teach a child how to make corrections within the
disturbing dream. By utilizing will
within imaginary exercise children are practicing the “muscle” of will and
imagination for addressing issues in their waking life.
Alex, a
six-year-old son of an eight months pregnant woman reported a reoccurring
nightmare in the last three months. Since the nightmares started Alex began
wetting his bed and acting out in school. In the dream Alex and his mother were attacked by a monster who was trying to open his
mother’s belly and to take away the baby. Alex’s favorite cartoon character
happened to be Spider Man. I told Alex that in the world of images anything was
possible. He practiced first by imagining that I had two noses, that he was ten
feet tall, that by becoming Spider Man he could make his way to another building
without an elevator. Then, I asked Alex to close his eyes, become Spider Man,
and go back into the dream with an intention to protect his mother. Alex
defeated the monster, put him in a cage, and sent the cage by UPS to prison.
The
nightmares never came back.
Who was the
monster in the dream? Was it Alex’s own fear of loosing his mother to the new
baby, was it his unconscious desire to destroy the newcomer, was he sensing his
mother’s vulnerability and did not know how to protect her?
Was it none or all of the above? We do not know. We do know that as he
defeated the monster and sent him to prison the quality of his waking life
changed drastically. Alex’s behavior in school improved and he stopped wetting
his bed.
